Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Shock at Grindelwald

Gentle reader, I know you wait with baited breath for an update of our doings, and - I promise - it will follow.  But first, you need to know - perhaps, if you are strong-minded - of the horrors that awaited us.

Understand, dear friend, that the flat we are privileged to borrow is beautiful in every way.  It is well-appointed inside, the balconies have breathtaking views of the Eiger, it is a close walk to a most beautiful village/town where almost everyone speaks English.  Our hosts are most kind, and I do not - in any way - suggest that they could be responsible for the outrage that awaited us.  Indeed, I have asked and they knew nothing about it.  Some ungrateful guest has abused their hospitality...

Naturally after a long journey from England what every Englishman needs immediately on arrival is a cup of tea.  There was only one variety of tea-bags available.  Please do not be frightened at the abomination; I doubt if you even knew such a thing were possible.   But they were Lancashire tea-bags.  Even now I cannot bring myself to append a picture of these things, and only include the link as testimony to my own veracity.

Well, needs must, and a Yorkshireman does not know the meaning of the word 'fear' (education - even in that glorious land - not being what once it was).  So, gripping my little Lancashire tea-bag in one hand and a kettle in the other, I brewed, waited and tasted.  Plainly, the experience was not fatal (since the dead do not continue blogs).  How were these tea-bags, you ask?  How do you think?

U n p l e a s a n t ,   v u l g a r   a n d   t a s t e l e s s .

Worse - yes, I assure you - was to follow.  I thought I would track down the source of this abomination and ensure that they are not available in England's green and pleasant land.  Here, then, is a quotation from the bottom of the box. 

'Because we are a young company, and not owned by any major corporation we rely on our customers to help us grow our business.' (Sic! or Sick?)

Yes, I assure you.  The dreaded lone comma of a pair.  Though passing themselves off as professionals, those who run this company do not know how to use a comma!  See here and here and for related material, here...

I have been unable to find, in this fair country of Switzerland, the proper thing.  But take heart, dear reader.  We have abandoned LT in favour of another brand which, while not the real thing, is a far better substitute.

I will give you some time to recover from the horrors of unaccompanied cupboard-searching, and then be back.  Meanwhile, just off for a cuppa.

1 comment:

Peter Eaton said...

Courage my friends! Lancashire Tea AND a missing comma - almost more than flesh and blood can bear. I am sure you will face these terrible trials with fortitude. Things, as someone once said, can only get better. Have a noble and relaxing holiday amonst the barbarisms.